The Global Economy Works, Y’all!

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Yeah, we're totally Orthodox, brah!

Yeah, we’re totally Orthodox, brah!

Say you’re an authority figure in a monotheistic religion based on Bronze Age superstitions. And say one of your tactics for controlling your followers is stirring hatred and fear of the gays. Say you have a group of young boys you’re trying to indoctrinate through fear of an ancient sky god’s disapproval. Well, the new SCOTUS ruling affirming the constitutional right for gay couples to marry is the perfect occasion to gin up some good old fashioned fear based lizard brain thinking. You could tell your students to beg for the sky father’s approval by protesting a parade where the gays are openly flaunting their basic human rights.

But there’s a problem. What if your young charges see people enjoying life instead of begging the sky spirit not to kill them? Or even worse, what if, Flying Spaghetti Monster forbid, they realize something about themselves?

Capitalism to the rescue! Our beneficent corporate masters have created an economy with plentiful cheap migrant laborers. Let them go to the parade in your stead and hold up you sign about how G-d made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

Problem solved, the American way!

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