An Open Letter To Donald Trump

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Juggalos against Trump

You’re president now.

I know. Crazy, right? We can’t believe it either.

Now that the surprise has worn off, we need to have a heart-to-heart. Because I’m worried about you, Donald.

You had it all planned out: run a divisive campaign, whip the base up into a frenzy, lose the election, and then run Trump TV with a built in audience that hated Obama and now hate Hillary. It was a good plan, but now things have gone all sideways and you have to be president now.

Which is a bummer, especially because Republicans control the House and the Senate. So all your supporters are going to expect that you will be able to deliver on the wall, the deportation of 11 million people, totally rebuilding the manufacturing base, and all the other promises you made.

That’s a problem for you because we both know you had no intention of following through with any of it. Your constituents voted for you out of anger at their situation and the inaction of Washington, and they’ll be doubly angry when you don’t make all the criminals disappear in your first hundred days.

That’s the thing about being president – you get blamed for everything that goes wrong during your administration. And sometimes for things that happened before your administration (just ask Obama).

I’m just going to come right out and say it: You don’t deal with criticism at all well.

This has us as a nation worried. If you stay up til 3 a.m. angrily tweeting about something said at one of the debates, how will you deal with the recession that will be blamed on your presidency?

(Check the stock market reports)

The good news is that you have ten weeks until you’re sworn in. Anything can happen in that time. A whole bunch of votes for Hillary that tip the election to her can be “found”. Wikileaks can be found to have “tampered” with the election.

Give it some thought. Don’t you really just want to be a TV star again? We can make that happen. Crazier things have.

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